KON's got a stalker
by Youkai Kisaki
Summary: One day in Ichigo's body Kon runs into Ichimaru ... Ichimaru announces that he likes ichigo and decides to attempt to convince him kon that ... all hell ensured Oneshot, One sided GinIchi, Rated T for swearing


Disclaimer: Meh I don't own bleach!!

Hahaha hey guys … here is a random fanfic that I came up with while sitting in class bored out of my mind as usual … Hope you enjoy Warning this has one sided GinIchi so if ya don't like yaoi stick it up or don't read it!!! The second half of this may suck cause I lost the draft for it so it won't go as I expected!! This is set just after the soul society arc before Ririn, Cloud and Nova are introduced!! Oh yeah and I apologise if Ichimaru's accent is a bit off its been a while since I've seen him speak it!!!

I am in quite a predicament…

_Flashback_

The day had started off pretty normal … Ichigo and Renji off fighting hollows, me in Ichigo's body sticking up with this ridiculous façade that was me passing as the never smiling Ichigo in school!! Life sucks!! I wanna smile, be free and snuggle myself in one of Ichigo's hot female friend's breasts!!

Ichigo had just left as I walked out of school in his well … kinda smelly body with his crazy friends **(Has anyone noticed that in almost any anime The dudes called Keigo are absolute idiots!!! In the ones I've watched/ read anyway which are Bleach and Prince of Tennis!!) **I said bye to them gruffly (Ichigo's usual style) and started walking off. About half way home I had passed by a lush green forest. I decided, seeing as no one was watching me that I would use my super strong legs and go for a run in the forest.

Half an hour later I decided that I'd had enough and started walking off towards the end of the forest. I had just reached the end when I recognised someone's reiatsu behind me. "Ma' Ma' that was an interestin display Ichigo" he said. I turned around and who was it but our smiling friend Ichimaru Gin!

"Seeing as you're a shinigami … well ex-shinigami anyway … I'll tell you something … I'm not Ichigo!"

"Hmm I don' believe you! Ya act, talk and sound like Ichigo. So therefore ya are"

I huffed and walked off.

"Wait Ichigo!" he yelled. Gah he's an annoying prick! Why does he wanna follow me?

"No" I yelled as I quickly sprinted off "Never you crazy person!" I looked back … crap he'd started chasing me!

_End of flash back_

I feel like I'm running for my life here, all I've been doing for half an hour is running from that crazy mad man who has an unnatural crush on Ichigo! To be honest he's really freaky; always smiling never opening his eyes. Plus Ichigo said and I quote "he was one of Aizen's bitches that betrayed soul society" Yup hes a definite weirdo!! Hang on wait one second what am I doing wasting energy thinking? I need to run and run until my/Ichigo's legs fall off. Oh crap Ichigo is gonna kill me!! Nee-san where are you? Please help me!!!

"Nee-san? Who's ya nee-san Ichigo? I din' know ya had a older sis'"

Oh crap I just realised I'd stopped running & did I actually say that out loud? Man I did too. "Get away from me you crazy stalker person!" I yelled

"Ma' ma' Ichigo that's not nice! I just came to say hi and your runnin away from me like crazy!"

"Ichimaru!" a new voice.

Yay my saviour! … Wait a sec who is it!? I turned around to see Renji and Ichigo standing behind me with their zanpakuto out. Ichimaru looked around confused "Why the fuck are there two Ichigos!?!"

"Cause I'm not Ichigo!" I yelled

"KON shut up!! You are ruining my image and people are staring at you!! They can't see us you know!"

"Oh whoops!"

"Okay then where were we" he said "Ichimaru why are you here!?"

"That's rude fake Ichigo!! I was speaking until you rudely interrupted me during a very intrestin conversation wif the real Ichigo!! Who I might add I have a really big crush on!!" he added in a whisper. Ichigo looked at him in disbelief.

"No fucking way!!!" he yelled after looking at him blankly for 3 minutes. "Absolutely no way am I gonna believe that!!"

"Ya don't have to" he said leaning in towards me probably attempting to kiss me.

"Okay! That's it! There's no way in hell you are gonna kiss my body!" Ichigo yelled then shunpoed towards Ichimaru and held out Zangetsu ready to attack him. There's every moment to run … and right now looked like one! Let's just say … I didn't want to get in the way and ran back to Ichigo's house/doctors clinic thing.

I sat on Ichigo's bed 2 hours later. My thoughts were interrupted many times when one of Ichigo's sisters or his annoying loud mouthed dad, knocked on the door asking if he wanted anything. I had replied every time with a firm "No".

"Goddamnit!! He got away" I heard from outside the window.

"Shut up Ichigo … you've been yelling that for 10 minutes … I'm going deaf here!" Renji yelled back.

"Oh sorry Renji!"

They both jumped inside through the window. "Man that guys a complete wack job"

"No shit there Ichigo" Renji stated standing on the window frame.

"I could have beaten him If you hadn't have interrupted … get out of my body KON"

I shook my head while Renji said "Hmm I'm sure…"

"What happened" I asked.

"The bastard got away … the blooming idiotic Aizen sent one of his blooming arrancar to force him back … Renji attacked the arrancar and then while I went to attack him again Ichimaru was like 'Til later my darling strawberry for I now know that you are the real one … not the one who was in the real body' then opened some random portal thing and got away!! Damnit I hate this!"

"Hmmm" I mumbled struggling not to laugh … Ichigo's got himself a stalker!!! My thoughts were interrupted by Ichigo yelling loudly "This is so fucking annoying" Obviously he wasn't finished ranting but oh well. I let my thoughts wander til he was done.

"Now KON get out of my body"

I sighed and complied with his wishes. Next thing I knew I was in my stuffed toy body and hating it … Life Sucks!!

So whadda ya think … Really crappy I know … It was really bad cause of the fact that I lost my draft … feel free to disagree though!! Please pretty please review!!! If I get more than 15 reviews by the end of August I may just write a sequel!! So if ya want … review!!


End file.
